"Double the Pleasure"

I would never have imagined that at this point in my life I would be a single mother of twins, but here I am! Although the past events have been a struggle, both physically and emotionally, I can truly say that I am happy now and would not change a thing. I'll share my story with you.

After 14 years of working as a procurement specialist in the high-tech communications and satellite industry, I left my job to pursue family life during the In Vitro Fertilization process. My husband and I had been trying to conceive naturally for about three to four years. When nothing was happening, we knew something was wrong. In the past, I had experienced a miscarriage and was concerned that might have left me unable to conceive. This fear was not the case. We found out later that he has cystic fibrosis allieo, which causes bilateral absence of the vas deferens. In other words, there was a disorder with the tube that the sperm must travel to get its destination and, therefore, he cannot have children unless the sperm is surgically removed.

My husband was devastated when he first found out the news. I happened to be out of town on business at the time, but I remember when he called me that he was beside himself with grief. I cried, too, and we both felt we were being punished for some unknown reason. We certainly tortured ourselves a lot about the infertility problem. But, I loved him and said I would do whatever it takes. Not only did I desperately want a child, but I also wanted to bear a child for him so that he would get over the grief and experience the joy of seeing his children.

At the time, so many friends of ours were having children. We just didn't want others to know what we were experiencing, so I did not share our news with too many people. I was feeling like I was losing myself in the process and began to see a therapist for counseling. It was not an easy time for me. Infertility is a horrendous emotional roller coaster that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

As it turned out, in December of 1995, I underwent corrective surgery to have scar tissue removed. If not, I I would have had another miscarriage. So it turned out the problem was with both of us. After that, when we decided to try In Vitro Fertilization, I was hopeful from the start. Although we were living in Rhode Island, we were referred out-of-state because the Reproductive Science Center of Boston is on the leading edge. IFV is a very high-tech process, but the doctors and psychologist at the Center were very informative and helpful. Dr. Martin, Dr. McShane and Dr. Glatstein all gave us an incredible comfort factor. In fact, I recall being so optimistic about the procedure that I thought I would become pregnant after the first attempt. I ended up going through the process eight times before finally becoming pregnant.

Rhode Island has an organization called RESOLVE, which helps pass legislation in state to assist with the payment of artificial reproduction. My insurance company covered 80 percent of the expenses. During the first six cycles, the Reproductive Science Center of Boston referred me to IVPCARE for all of the medications. For my last two cycles, however, my insurance company changed their policy and I was required to get all medications in state. All of the sudden, the entire medication process became more difficult for me. I didn't know what syringe went with what medication; It was very confusing. By comparison, my medication from IVPCARE always arrived in clean kits with all the needles well organized and clearly labeled. The IVPCARE kits included swabs and gauze, as well as written information for each medication enclosed. Not only had it been extremely organized, but IVPCARE was very prompt. If I was running low on any medication, I called the company and the package I needed arrived at my door the very next day. I could depend on that with my life! Because it was such a nerve-racking time, it was critical to receive help, especially if I was out of a medication. The last thing I wanted was to be on the phone speaking with pharmacies. Not only did I have a pleasant experience with every person in every department at IVPCARE, I realized when I had to make the change that the medications from IVPCARE were even less expensive than what I had to pay my local pharmacy!

Four years and eight cycles was an emotional roller coaster, but I had faith and determination that, ultimately, I would have a child. Even when I first became pregnant, I couldn't be joyous because I had lost so many "biochem pregnancies." Too many times, I found out that my HCG level would rise, but that it was still too low and not a viable pregnancy. Two weeks after the eighth IVF, the doctor told me that it looks good and that there was a possibility of multiples. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I was praying for two babies. I had a feeling that I was having two boys but I didn't talk about it to anyone. At six weeks, I had an ultrasound and was so pleased to see two! Although it seemed unbelievable, it finally felt real!

The day I found out I was pregnant was the day my husband moved out. I could not fall apart. It was important for me to keep my mind and heart focused on my babies. I needed to stay physically well. Luckily, I had the support of close friends.

Now I have my precious sons, Jordan Wayne and Brayden James. The twins were born on January 13, 1999, which was 37 1/2 weeks into the pregnancy. Jordan weighed 6 pounds and Brayden weighed 6 pounds 12 ounces. The boys are phenomenal! They are so well behaved and just the best babies! My biggest mantra is, "It's a privilege to be their mother." I'm so happy. We are our own family and every day feels like a special blessing.