" On Your Mark, Get Set... Wait "

I often noticed a nice looking man while on my way into the office. He worked for a different business in the same building, and our paths crossed often, although we never spoke. Then, the evening of the office holiday party, we finally started to talk. That night broke the ice and we were married three years later.

We never discussed children while we were dating. I didn't want to scare him off, and I was waiting for him to bring up the subject, although I knew he loved children. The night he proposed I said, "Yes." Then, I asked him if he wanted to have children. He said, "Yes." Since I was already 41 and he is close to my age, we decided we wouldn't wait and would start trying right after our wedding. We never imagined that it would take over four years to have our own child.

After six months of trying with no success, I was concerned. Knowing I was older, I didn't want to take any chances and wait an entire year. My obstetrician wanted to put me on Clomid, which is what I felt he did for anyone who was having difficulty conceiving. I wanted more of an answer to my inability to conceive, so on recommendation from a friend, I visited an infertility specialist. The doctor ran tests, such as blood work and a laparoscopy. The latter test is where some serious problems were discovered. I had an unicornuate uterus, which is half a uterus. It had never fully developed, but since I ovulated monthly, I never knew it. The other problem seen during the laparoscopy was that the fallopian tube attached to the good side of my uterus had a serious infection. Surgery removed the fallopian tube immediately, since it could become toxic. Three follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) tests were also performed, and the last two came out very high.

After the tests were completed, I was told I could only become pregnant through in vitro fertilization, and that due to the high FSH, I only had a five percent chance of becoming pregnant with my own eggs. My next step was to find an egg donor. The clinic has a program where they match egg donors to recipients. We were on the long waiting list. My husband and I weren't as picky as some potential parents. We just wanted an egg donor who had a healthy medical background and was our same race. We didn't care about eye color or hair color, only a healthy baby. We waited and waited. I called often to check on our status, even though we were never told where we were on the waiting list. We tried to find our own egg donor, but she fell through at the last minute and it was a terrible disappointment.

After more than a year, the clinic changed the program and offered more compensation to egg donors. The number of women willing to donate their eggs doubled. After a year and a half, we were finally told we had a match. With a donor egg and my husband's sperm, we tried IVF. Only one embryo was implanted, and it failed. Again, we were terribly disappointed. There were so many ups and downs for us during this time. Luckily, another egg donor was found right away. This particular donor had been successful in the past. After waiting a couple of months to prepare my body again, I tried IVF a second time.

Twelve days later I took a blood test and waited at work to hear the results. The call came, and I learned that I was pregnant! I was so emotional and not expecting this wonderful news. I tried to call my husband to share the joy with him, but I had trouble reaching him on the phone. Finally after a few hours, I tracked him down. He was elated.

Because I have only half a uterus, it was considered a high-risk pregnancy. My pregnancy was going well until six weeks before the baby was due. My amniotic fluid became dangerously low, so I was put on bed rest. Soon after that, my water broke early. I was admitted to the hospital on September 11, 2001, which was an emotional day in the world. I remember watching on television the World Trade Centers falling while I was being examined. The doctor wanted to try to keep the baby in as long as possible, but I went into labor a few days later. Our beautiful daughter, Rosalea, was born on September 15, weighing 4 pounds, 10 ounces. She was beautiful and healthy!

My next problem was that my placenta was not being delivered easily. The doctor had to remove it by pulling it out, which resulted in a fourth degree episiotomy tear. My recovery was slow, and due to a partially retained placenta, I had fevers, felt ill and my milk would not come in. Several weeks later, doctors attempted to remove the remainder of the placenta, but some of it had latched on too deeply to a weak place in the muscle of the uterus. I would like to become pregnant again and will try IVF, but this is the first time the doctors are dealing with the issues that I currently have. I feel that with the advancements in technology, there is so much that can be done for those with infertility issues. At my age and with my complications, it is amazing that I was successful and had a baby. I've often thought that it is a good thing I waited so long to get married and try for children. Ten years ago I would not have had so much help available.

I would really like another child some day. I am thankful to have a beautiful and healthy child. My wish now isn't as desperate a feeling as the first time I was trying to become pregnant, but since I know now what a joy it is to have a baby, I would love another one. As I've learned with my experience, there are so many ups and downs. I learned always hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. Also, it's important to persevere and keep on trying. I won't give up until there is no hope for success. As I know now that I have my beautiful daughter, it's worth all of the effort and the waiting.